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For God's sake woman, you're a woman! Go into a bar. Find a man as handsome as the sun and say: 'Fancy a fuck? Or do you mind lying down while I have one? That was quick. Now what am I going to do with the rest of the column? Do you know any jokes? Well, I only have one joke - and I'm it. The first thing you need to do is decide exactly what image of yourself you are going to present to the world. What sort of woman do you want to be? Squaw, doormat, trophy, Barbie? Model, actress, hooker, waitress? Vamp or tramp? I cannot stress how important this is. You can give everything else away except your image; that you have to hold on to for dear life.
Next, clothes. Remember, clothes are wearing your thoughts, your attitudes to life. The way people look has a lot to do with the way they behave. For example, denim is for farmhands. If you wear it, don't blame me if you end up milking cows. But the clothes must have an emperor. You will only conquer if you believe you can. To accomplish great things, you must not only act but also dream, not only plan but believe. Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. You can because you think you can. Now you know who you are. And you are radioactive with belief in yourself. Darling, you only need to walk out the door and you will score!
Restaurants, bars, swinging parties, it doesn't matter where you go. Armed with your style, you will win. It is a shield and a sword and a crown. Great stylists are never surrounded by dullards. If even a tiny portion of the charm and grace which you have now cultivated in yourself rubs off, men will be cascading out of the sky like confetti.
I for one am already excited.
Consider yourself So you're saying you want a fuck buddy? Well, I can tell you where you might look for your mojo, darling, but the miracle man? If I knew that, I'd have my own magazine called Spare Blokes, which I'd run from the poolside of the Cipriani while a few of the hand-picked Italian brotherhood polished my sunglasses.
So, where to begin? As you know, straight, mutually companionable, thirtysomething single blokes are not exactly littering the pavements. I could suggest dance classes, but I'm desperately seeking a salsa partner myself, of any marital or sexual status.
Then there's the learn-a-new-skill route Again, from first-hand experience, classes can be really great places to meet men if you like women - and the overs. So think male-dominated activities. One friend met her lover while learning to sail, and, though it chokes me to say so, another swears by golf.
She jets around the world with her clubs, picking up rich, successful men. I know, not the kind of swinging you had in mind, but it's a sport teeming with straight guys, not to mention endless punning opportunities on the subject of wood. Go figure. It makes the personals and the internet look positively sane. Don't rule these out. I know lots of success stories, including the one woman in my salsa class who has a real live man to dip her, and the only male under 40 on my Italian course who met his girlfriend online.
Another discerning woman friend has met lo of top blokes on the internet and in the personals. She goes for FT types, figuring that the paper's readership acts as some kind of economic vetting system. For selection of a more sexual flavour, choose your publication carefully, and don't mention the kinkiness with your GSOH - keep it sex-lite till the second date.
The Observer Life and style. Woman looking for action. Everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but were too squeamish to ask. Sebastian Horsley and Marion McBride. Sebastian Horsley For God's sake woman, you're a woman! Marion McBride So you're saying you want a fuck buddy? Topics Life and style The Observer Relationships.
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Sexual Hookup Culture: A Review